Photobucket
madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


tagboard
Thursday, January 05, 2006 8:43 PM
yeah. today is thurs. tomorrow is FRIDAY!! end of the week. not sure what happen, but this week, everyone is like so tired. perhaps still not used to having to wake up early. as for me, it's the usual time, just that i have to walk more than when we were in Yishun. lols. this year, every teacher is saying it's the crucial year. and yes, i agree. i'm getting more and more afraid. i'm afraid that i will fail my english. but sometimes, i managed to tell myself, if i am more careful, then every thing will just be fine. self motivating myself. lols. next week, should be starting to have afternoon lesson le. can't sleep in the afternoon anymore, unlike today. while waiting for friend, dozed off for 15mins, and to me, it was like one hour or what. haha. this shows how tired i am. (: this week, rushed through quite a lot of homework in school, so when i reached home, i will be like, i wanted to do homework, but what homework should i do? i wanted to study, but what should i study. so in the end, i went to sleep. lol. but i'm not a pig.

Ann, you good. slap me. sigh. you are the second sec2 student who slap me. or perhaps i should say, you are the first person this year who slapped me. aren't you honoured? lol. happy that you are the FIRST person to lean on my shoulders to sleep? FIRST person to slap me this year. oh man!! can't believe it. sigh. but what to do? since you slap me liao, so i shall continue to help you take your book. btw, YOU ARE WEIRD! people help you take, then you reject. same as my friend seh. always reject me de. sigh.

i lost the confidence, i lost the heart of doing all this for the band once again. just because of what people say. and yes, i know that they do not respect me, but i do not care about being a leader, neither do i care about the rank that i'm holding on. i have been helping this band for four years. in the first two years of my secondary school life, you never know how much pressure i'm suffering. i came to get so involved into band not because of the rank or what, but because i do have feeling for this band. perhaps, my way of doing things is different from the rest, but too bad. we are a family, we got to live with it. so, if you guys don't treat me as part of the family, so be it. doing the small things for the band is not easy. i got scolded for no reason. fair to me? after what happen in band about internal leaders, i forced myself to come to band, i forced myself to continue doing what i think was right, but i was shoot, saying that what i did is not correct. all the blame was on me, but i never gave up. perhaps, my attitude towards band change, but i'm forced into this. come'on, think before you guys think that i'm wrong. each of us has our own ways of handling. and i can say right now that i can no longer help the band. because of what HE say.
YTWO do not have to respect me as a leader, because i do not regard myself as one in BAND. but respect me for who i am. people do make mistakes, no one is perfect. but if you are willing to give them a chance, i believe they will do a better job. have faith in the next batch of leaders, because everyone of us is still learning in every areas of our life. give them your fullest support.

once given out, it will never return to me. a crucial decision to make. whether i still could live with it, or will i regret? i really have no idea. can someone guide me along. tell me the right decision to make.